Christmas morning, I opened up our gift from C.Dolly and her husband. It was a lovely assortment of snacks and homemade gifts. One item in particular was a puzzle of epic proportions. She had hinted a few days earlier that there was one item in particular that was for me, but I wouldn’t let her give any more hints than that. Everything else in the bag was clearly meant to be enjoyed by everyone so that left the item pictured below. Take a moment to examine it and think about what it could be.
Now, to be fair, I have known C.Dolly since elementary school. I have had many years of exposure to her unique way of thinking. Hence, after a lot of head scratching, we arrived at the thought that this must be a penis warmer. We set it aside and didn’t think much about it after. As my husband was packing to leave back to work, he picked it up and we laughed thinking C.Dolly had one twisted sense of humour. We were confused as to how anyone would ever get the strap around their waist as it didn’t look quite long enough, so he proceeded to try it on saying, “Well, it was a gift, so I better at least try it!” It was a little snug, but he said he could see how it might keep things a bit warmer. Good testicle support and all….
It wasn’t until our weekly writing session today that I actually asked C.Dolly what in the heck the crocheted gift was. I was still confused as to how it could have been for me. Turns out it wasn’t quite what we thought….
It’s a wine glass holder! I’m to wear it around my neck and it will hold my wine glass (not testicles). Hmmm….. That does seem to make sense now. It may come in handy this summer after all. After a thorough washing of course. I had to text my husband right away to let him know the error of our ways, and to be fair, before we landed on penis warmer, we did try to think of normal things like putting it over a bun in your hair, etc…, but the strap was way too long to be a chin strap.
In conclusion, if you ever get a confusing gift, make sure you ask what it is before assuming you’re supposed to wear it on your penis….
Turns out we’re the exact opposite of the lovely old ladies wearing anal beads around their neck because they are obviously just a beautiful necklace. We instead choose to take a lovely and thoughtful gift and turned it into something nefarious.