Head in a Jar


If I were to put the best part of my husband in a jar, it wouldn’t be his head. Being it was a Halloween party that included family, I couldn’t very well put his penis in a jar. I’m also talking about pictures and not the real body parts because I’m not a psycho body-hacking bitch, for fuck sakes. Disclaimer: There may come a time where that could become a reality…after all, we are talking about my husband (remember the Top 10 ways to Ruin a Camping Trip?: “You will have even less patience to deal with your annoying husband who had everything on his list done ahead of time and lets you know it every time you mention that you’re feeling a little stressed. You will tell him to ‘Shut the fuck up or I’m gonna cut a bitch’ and he will laugh and say, ‘That’s okay. I have time to go to emergency because all my shit is done.’”

I found a tutorial on the “Head in a Jar” which involved taking two pictures, a straight-on and a profile picture, and merging them with a photo editing program so that it looks like a real head when it’s in the jar. The written instructions for editing the photos were included but, because I haven’t used it in 2 years, I honestly couldn’t remember how to use my G.I.M.P photo editing software and I gave up after a couple of hours of frustration. This is what I ended up doing:

  • Print the generic pre-made 360 degree picture template that is provided in the tutorial, if you are an incompetent photo editor, like myself. If you possess proficient editing skills, then follow the tutorial to create your head.
  • Take a close-up, straight-on picture of your ‘victim’.
  • Measure the jar and make sure that the ‘head’ is sized properly to fit inside it after it’s complete.
  • Resize a straight-on picture of your victim to fit the template, print it off and glue it onto the template to cover the random dude’s face.
  • Laminate the picture and if it’s not a heat-sealed laminate, then use packing tape around the edges to make sure the laminate is truly sealed.
  • Fill the jar with water and add a little bit of green food coloring.
  • Slide the photo of the head into the jar and seal.
  • You can add some fake hair to the top of the jar, as well.

~C. Dolly~


1 thought on “Head in a Jar”

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Google photo

You are commenting using your Google account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s