Tuesday Ramblings

WTF Matrix?


I have brassy hair (this sounds like the beginning of a 12 step program – “Hello everyone. My name is Robin, and I have brassy hair!”

I Love getting my hair highlighted, but as we all know, red tones wash out super fast and you’re left with brassy orange, which is not cool. Last week, my hairdresser recommended that I try a bluing shampoo to help with this. All I was told was, “Make sure you leave it in for 3-5 minutes to allow it to penetrate.”

Sure thing! As much as I might be grossing out the masses, I am a bath girl. Yes, I know, I’m bathing in a cesspool of my own filth. Let me assure you – my filth is like fairy dust that anyone should be thrilled to be coated with. But, I digress…. Let me shift the scene back to my nice relaxing bath. Wine in hand, music pumping, bubbles bubbling and the water so hot it would melt the skin off of a man’s testicles.

I don’t know about you, but I absolutely love when I get to try new shampoo, make up, skin care products or frankly anything that promises to make me pretty (prettier). I crack the bottle with anticipation and pour the inky goo into my hand. It’s pretty fucking blue. Still, doesn’t register that this could be a concern, so I proceed to lather it all up in my hair and wait the allotted time. As I’m waiting, I notice that my hands are a little bluish in colour. Not papa smurf blue, but more of an indigo haze – like gargamel took a bath in blueberry juice to make himself a bit more smufalicious. I decide that I should do a quick rinse, at which point, the water turned a dark blue and my skin started to burn. I jump out of the bath and decide that reading the label is of paramount importance at the moment.

First of all, let me assure you that there is nothing wrong with my eyesight. I have perfect vision, but I was squinting to make out the label on this bottle. The first thing that caught my eye was the little hazard sign on the front. Pictured below. See if that’s one of the first things you notice…. I’ll give you a minute to find it. I’ve angled the bottle nicely to help you see.


By now I’m sure you’ve found it top right. It simply says safety instructions. Now here’s what the ‘safety instructions’ look like. Keep in mind, the photo below is enlarged.


Breaking it down for you, apparently I should wear gloves, preform an allergy test prior to every use, wash hands thoroughly after any accidental contact and that if I use it around my eyes, I could go blind. And here I thought I was just washing my hair. On the plus side, my hair did lose the brass and I should have been smart enough to realize that some things that promise to make me pretty (prettier) come at a very caustic price. I will be paying way better attention in the future.  – C.U.NextTuesday (or whenever I can actually remember what day it is!) – R.Dolly


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